These aren’t the funniest, but it’s strangely satisfying to vent at them:

Hello are using WordPress for your blog platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you need any coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Yes, am using WordPress.  You’re a sharp one, I can tell.  The fact that your name advertised a “fake diploma” tells me that you should be able to fake the programming knowledge needed for blogging.

I just added your blog site to my blog roll, I pray you consider doing the same.

Pray like gangbusters.

Your website won¡¯t render properly on my iphone 3gs ¨C you might want to try and repair that

Your comment won’t render properly on my blog.  I think we’re both disappointed in each other.  This relationship has spiraled completely out of control.  I think we should see other people.

 Hi there, I want to subscribe for this blog to get newest updates, so where can i do it please help.

Beats me, but if robots who want to sell me real estate can figure it out, it can’t be that hard.