SCENE: INT.–OFFICE–DAY. I am discovered sitting at my computer, eating a granola bar, with an unopened box of cookies on my desk.
Can I have a cookie?
(He opens the box and takes a cookie. Enter CO-WORKER)
CO-WORKER (to ME)
Can I look through your files?
(CO-WORKER turns back to door, looks through file cabinet. Exit INTERN.)
All these files are a mess! It’s never been cleaned up since the guy who used to have your job. It was in great shape before he came.
(Enter INTERN, unseen by CO-WORKER)
That idiot who was in here was so stupid.
Hey, I’m right here!
No, not you–he means the guy who used to have my job.
Oh. (pause) Can I have another cookie?
These files are such a mess!
Why do you have these cookies? You don’t eat food.
I’m eating granola right now.
I mean not this kind of food.
CO-WORKER (who has been grumbling about files the entire time)
You should have seen what it used to be like!
INTERN (To ME)
Oh, yeah, you did say you used to be fat.
No, no–he means what the file system used to be like!
(Exit CO-WORKER, still grumbling, having apparently not found the file. Pause.)
Can I have another cookie?