At last, football is (almost) back! I love the Hall of Fame Game weekend. Sure, the game is barely actual football, and I’ll probably tune out after the first two series, but it’s nice to start the season off with a little appreciation for the sport’s history, followed by a nice, easy re-introduction to watching football. It would be no fun to just dive right in to the regular season right away, now would it?
Yeah, ok; maybe it would.
Anyway, it’s time once again for my annual haiku football season predictions. I’m pretty proud of last year’s predictions, in which I correctly picked the Patriots to beat the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. Let’s see how I do this year.
AFC East
Patriots
The Defending Champs
Make it back to the playoffs–
But lose their first game.
Bills
Loaded on defense–
But offense doesn’t seem to
Be “The Real McCoy.”
Dolphins
Improvements will make them
A wild card contender–
But can’t beat the Pats.
Jets
Rex Ryan Redux–
With a lackluster offense
And a strong defense.
AFC North
Ravens
Flacco will surprise;
And they ride his career year
To the Super Bowl.
Steelers
Changes on defense
Will be too much for loaded
“O” to overcome
Bengals
Dalton and Lewis
Get one more Sisyphean
Underwhelming year.
Browns
Can Johnny 12-step
Still be the Cleveland savior?
Wouldn’t bet on it.
AFC South
Colts
It’s just like old times–
A strong regular season
Followed by heartbreak.
Jaguars
They’ll be really bad–
Like, really, really awful–
As in, not too good.
Titans
Mariota is
The next “game changing” QB
Who crashes and burns.
Texans
Strong defensive line
Coupled with decent offense
Makes them a sleeper.
AFC West
Broncos
There’s an old man called
“Peyton Manning”. He’s still smart.
But he should retire…
Chargers
…But “Old Man Rivers”
Still has a few good years left.
Will win Division
Raiders
They say Carr is good,
But I am still skeptical
Of their playoff odds.
Chiefs
The blandest of teams
Has a chance to surprise,but
Can’t beat the Chargers.
NFC East
Cowboys
Can Dez be worth it?
If Romo can stay healthy
They’ll win division
Giants
Odell’s all the rage;
In for a sophomore slump.
Tom Coughlin’s last year.
Redskins
The name is not all
They should consider changing–
Also need new offense.
Eagles
Bradford will not last
And the Sanchez/Tebow show
Will make a comeback.
NFC North
Packers
This is the year they
Break the curse of the Seahawks.
But not the Ravens.
Bears
Crazy like a Fox–
But he can turn teams around.
Will be a fifth seed.
Vikings
Bridgewater breaks out
And they will be very good–
But not playoff good.
Lions
The wheels will fall off;
Johnson’s old, Stafford’s not great–
Back to drawing board.
NFC South
Saints
Will still be a threat
Even without Graham et. al;
But can’t beat Panthers.
Panthers
Will beat the Saints. Twice.
As I predicted above.
What more do you want?
Falcons
New coach improves them,
But won’t overtake Panthers;
Not until next year.
Buccaneers
Can Winston be good
On and off the gridiron?
Probably neither.
NFC West
Seahawks
It’s not picks that kill;
Nor the two straight scoring drives;
It’s that last, long yard.
Cardinals
With ‘Hawks hungover
Will take Division title
And win playoff game.
49ers
Need to win it all
To explain canning Harbaugh.
That will not happen.
Rams
Bills/Jets of the West:
Strong running game and defense,
But no Quarterback.
It’s amazing how you find poetry in football. If you are interested check out my blog, have tried a bit of haiku myself.
simplysonu.wordpress.com
Thank you. I enjoy your poems–very evocative.
Thank you…
Interesting take on predictions
Well, it’s hard to always predict things well while following the format… so it usually turns into more of a “funny things to say about teams in haiku form”.
I also haven’t changed the poem for the Jaguars in three years…