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Lately my spam filter has been deluged by spam comments. If you look at the commenter “name,” these spammers purport to sell handbags or weight loss diets or something,  but the majority of them follow a very peculiar form.  Observe:

Some truly good posts on this site, thank you for contribution. “An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.” by Dylan Thomas.

Well, I’m a teetotaler, so… anyway, let’s have a few more:

You have observed very interesting points ! ps nice website . “We simply rob ourselves when we make presents to the dead.” by Publilius Syrus.

I like this blog very much, Its a real nice place to read and obtain info . “Nunc scio quit sit amor.” by Virgil.

I like this web blog very much, Its a real nice post to read and receive info . “Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.” by Sir Winston Churchill.

I genuinely enjoy reading through on this web site, it has got great articles. “Beware lest in your anxiety to avoid war you obtain a master.” by Demosthenes.

<befuddled silence>

What the heck is going on here?  I’m forced to assume this the work of some relatively sophisticated yet highly eccentric computer program, but I’m trying to figure out what the people behind it were thinking.  Did they believe that if these famous quotes from famous people were so good that filters would let them through?

Whatever “thought process”–I use the term loosely–went into this, I think you’ll agree it produces some hilarious results.

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Heeeeere we go again!

Ha, I just like the selection of cartoony ones. It’s often wonderful when designers put some time into vectors for their site. Throw in some rad typography and its golden!

Uh… yeah.  What makes this funny is that it’s on a previous “funny spam comments” post.

I just want to say I’m newbie to blogging and truly liked your web site. Almost certainly I’m likely to bookmark your blog post . You surely have really good stories. Thanks for sharing your webpage.

Hmm… with equivocation like that, you have no business writing spam for a living.  You should go into politics!

It is the best time to make a few plans for the longer term and it’s time to be happy. I’ve read this publish and if I may I wish to counsel you some attention-grabbing issues or tips.

What are you, a horoscope?

Good morning. The content is quite nice.

You aren’t even trying.

And the prize-winner:

At this time I am ready to do my breakfast, afterward having
my breakfast coming again to read other news.

You should probably take some medicine for that.

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Okay, I wanted to try to avoid blogging about politics this weekend, but analysis of Clint Eastwood’s Absurdist one-man play is everywhere.  I guess it’s not even that political except that it happened at the Republican convention.  As eurobrat points out, the performance, unlike everything else at the convention, was not carefully stage and crafted.  It was spontaneous.

That definitely was why it was more memorable than anything  else at the convention, but I am not sure that “memorable” means “good”.  “All publicity is good publicity”, they say, but they are wrong.  Just ask Richard Nixon.  Still, I like Eastwood, and I can sort of see what he was trying to so, but it just fell flat.  That’s okay; plays often do need adjustments after opening night.

I think he should hire Roger Guenveur Smith to perform in the next version of it.  Number one because he is very good at one-man performances, and number two because there would be something delightfully ironic about a man named Roger Smith interviewing an empty chair.

Talking of which, Michael Moore has his own take on it, in which he erroneously says “a crazy old man hijacked a national party’s most important gathering so he could literally tell the president to go do something to himself”.  But Eastwood had the imaginary President–President Harvey, if you will–telling him, Eastwood, that.  The implied swearing didn’t bother me that much, although I suppose it will horrify the religious wing of the Republican party.

But, in the end, it was my favorite part of the convention.  I have to give Eastwood credit for that much.

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I was searching on Knights of the Old Republic II the other day when I stumbled across these awesome custom KotOR II Lego figures made by Justin R. Stebbins, aka Saber-Scorpion.  (My personal favorite of his figures is Mandalore) He also has KotOR I creations, as well as custom Lego  for a bunch of other great games, including Planescape: Torment, Fallout and Metal Gear Solid.  Check it out.

As I was looking around at his work, I did start thinking how awesome a full-length movie adaptation of these games with the Lego figures would be, even though I’m not normally a fan of adapting games into movies.  Since their lips don’t move, you could use the original voice readings from the game.  One of my favorite things about Lego is how easily it lends itself to stop-motion animation.

Actually, though, I know there are video game adaptations of various franchises using Lego characters…  maybe KotOR III should be done in that style, appealing to two fan-bases at once?  And of course, Fallout: Lego Island practically writes itself… no, maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea.

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I touched on this with my last post about the movie Rudy: it can be fun to come up with alternative interpretations of movies that the directors and writers didn’t think of.  With Rudy, I was saying that I found the hero character’s fixation on football to be an unhealthy obsession, rather than the inspirational determination it is presented as being.

Some movies have much more elaborate alternative interpretations.  Take the Star Wars movies for example: most people assumed that the Empire is evil just because the opening crawl said so.  But, in Phantom Menace, it’s pretty clear that what Palpatine says about the Old Republic being “mired” by “bureaucrats” is true.  They can’t even get it together to go do something when one of their planets gets invaded and occupied.  If nothing else, the Empire runs a more efficient operation.

If I know politics, a few years after ROTJ, there would be a massive campaign to rehabilitate Palpatine’s image.

This does not even take into account the Jedi, who claim to be good–although the only people who really seem to feel this way are the Jedi themselves–but who are shown to brainwash people from a young age to indoctrinate them into their cult.  They say the Sith are evil, but in the movies, at least, the Sith wait until you’re an adult before asking you to join.  Count Dooku was a former Jedi and an aristocrat of some sort before he opted to try his hand at Sith Lording in his retirement.

Also, of course, there’s the fact that everything the Jedi do turns out to be an abysmal failure.  The Sith are clearly the only ones capable of creating a plan and seeing it through to the end in that galaxy.  Even at the end, in Return of the Jedi, all the Jedi stuff Luke had been taught goes by the boards, and the Emperor is overthrown not by him, but by the actions of a renegade Sith.

George Lucas probably didn’t intend any of these interpretations (and the “Expanded Universe” contradicts a lot of them), but I think the movies can definitely be viewed that way.  Personally, I think it makes more sense in some ways.

Or take Oliver Stone’s movie JFK.  It was controversial for its promotion of conspiracy theories.  I have a different take on it: I think Kevin Costner’s character is an unreliable narrator (he’s not really the narrator, but the film is very much from his perspective) who has this weird obsession with conspiracies.  Donald Sutherland’s character “X” is a figment of his imagination, whom he created to fulfill his dreams of uncovering a massive plot.  Try watching JFK and then A Beautiful Mind and see if you don’t agree.

I know there’s also a famous alternate interpretation of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off–although Freddie DeBoer doesn’t buy it–but I have never seen that movie, so I wouldn’t know.

What movies do you interpret differently than may have been originally intended?

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I’m pleased to report that we have a bumper crop this time around:

“Observe up the monumental hunk of process, I show handful points on this internet site also I deem that your net scene is rattling stimulating furthermore has places of splendid news.”

“The monumental hunk of process” sounds like something they do in Six Sigma

What i don’t understood is actually how you’re not
really much more well-liked than you may be right now.
You are so intelligent. You know therefore significantly relating to this topic,
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Its like men and women don’t seem to be involved until it is one thing to do with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs outstanding. All the time take care of it up!

I think he is trying to say that people won’t read anything that’s not about Lady Gaga.  This comment was on my Max Weber and football post.  Which gives me an idea: what would Weber think of Lady Gaga?

Empathetic for your monstrous inspect, in addition I’m just seriously very good as an alternative to Zune, and consequently optimism them, together with the quite very good critical reviews some other players have documented, will let you determine whether it does not take appropriate choice for you.

Well, I’m glad somebody understands my monstrous inspect!  Maybe you can explain it to me sometime.  But you’re probably too busy being an alternative to Zune.  How’s that working out for you?

 You are in point of fact a excellent webmaster. The website loading pace is incredible. It seems that you are doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork. you have done a fantastic process on this subject!

Yeah, the secret is low tolerance for spammers.

 

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Football season is upon us!  It’s only pre-season, but still!  Therefore I have prepared some poetry for the occasion.  I wanted to do more haiku since my political ones were pretty popular, and I got the idea to do a football-themed set from Gregg Easterbrook.  Some of them contain an actual prediction, some just make a lousy pun, but all of them contain 5-7-5 syllable goodness!

Atlanta

This will be the year

They win a postseason game.

But only the one.

Arizona

Two great receivers

Never get hands on the ball

If QB’s on ground.

Baltimore

Most boring good team

Will make playoffs, win, then lose.

Wash, rinse and repeat.

Buffalo

Upgraded defense.

But inconsistent passing

Will give the fans “Fitz”.

Carolina

“Cam will change the game”

Maybe so, but then again

We’ve heard that before.

Chicago

Will win division.

And if they can stay healthy

Will reach New Orleans.

Cincinnati
They ought to be good.

Yet, whenever we think that,

They always collapse.

Cleveland

They seem to have been

Re-rebuilding ever since

1999.

Dallas

Poor Dallas Cowboys:

With the biggest screen ever,

And a small window.

Denver

Broadway Joe the Ram

Unitas as a Charger

Condemned to repeat.

Detroit

Don’t blame Megatron;

‘Cover curse’, and their defense,

Put them in cellar.

Green Bay

Defense gets better

But offensive regression

Makes them a fifth seed.

Houston

Just who are these guys?

They lost Mario, but they’ll

Win the Lombardi.

Indianapolis

Well, with any Luck

They will be back into form

Come twenty-fourteen

Jacksonville

They’re gonna be bad.

Like, really, really awful.

As in, not too good.

Kansas City

They might be healthy

This year, and have a good chance

To win Division.

Miami

Major rebuilding.

The last time that they did that

They made the playoffs.

Minnesota

Is it just me who

Believes that “Christian Ponder”

Should be Tebow’s name?

New England

Impressive offense

Figures to run up the score.

Without the “running”.

New Orleans

Team’s united; there’s

No mutiny on bounty.

But still, no Captain.

 New York Jets

Should have signed Owens

And Moss and Ochocinco.

Would be great TV.

New York Giants

They look weak compared

To the Eagles and Cowboys.

Like they did last year.

Oakland

How’ll the West be won?

I don’t know, but it will not

Be by the Raiders.

Philadelphia

Unpredictable

They always surprise people.

Not this year–sixth seed.

Pittsburgh

They tried to Ward off

The ravages of time, but

It’s caught up to them.

San Diego

I think that Turner

Could lose all sixteen games and

Still not get fired.

San Francisco

Will regress a lot

And still win their division

But not NFC.

Seattle

Weird new uniforms

Make them the NFL’s Ducks:

Good, but not elite.

St. Louis

Could surprise some teams,

But Braford’s injury prone.

Can’t beat the Niners.

Tampa Bay

Like the G-Man says:

“Rise and Shine, Mr. Freeman”.

Wrong man in right place.

Tennessee

They appear destined

For second in division

And missing playoffs.

Washington

Griffin next Newton.

Puts up good numbers, but fails

To win seven games.

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Stop the presses!

I know you’ll think I’m crazy, but I saw it with my own two eyes, I did!  He was being interviewed by Brian Williams of NBC, who said something like “an anonymous Romney staffer said you were planning to pick a boring white guy for VP”.  And Romney chuckled and said something like “you told me you weren’t interested.”  UPDATE: The verbatim quote from Romney was: “You told me you were not available”.  Same thing, really.

Now, it’s true that minutes earlier, Williams asked him something about a gun control law he passed as governor, and Romney answered with a barrage of weasel words and non-answers the likes of which I’ve seldom seen.  And even more pathetically, Williams totally let it go without follow-up questions.  But still, you have to give Romney credit: he made a joke that wasn’t awkward or forced, which is pretty rare for him.  And after all, “likeability” is what wins elections!

Really, it happened!  I tried to get the clip, or at least a transcript for you  at NBC’s website, but I can’t get the clip to embed, or even play correctly on my computer.  It might be here.  Or that might be an interview with Kathy Griffin.  For some reason, I was having a heck of a lot of trouble with navigating their site.

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This is awesome.  It’s like the sort of thing I would have wanted to do as a kid, except that I would have become frustrated and given up after one section.  But this fan, one Robert J. Hall, saw it through to the end.  There’s an article about him and a photo gallery of his project here.

Now, if only he could build a really good, life-size, moving #2 wide-receiver, we’d be all set this year.  He could use “Mindstorms” to program in the routes to run.  It’d be great.

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In Hollywood, they can’t just *suspend* disbelief, they have to have it leaping out of a helicopter while being shot at.

Via J.E. Sawyer, another good example of how real life is NOT like action movies.  I remember that Cracked did a great article about this sort of thing once.  No wonder we have a “gun culture” in this country; our movies depict them as having magical powers!

It reminds me of the movie Last Action Hero.  A lot of people hated it, but personally I thought it was brilliant.  If you haven’t seen it, what happens is: Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a generic action movie hero in a movie-within-the-movie.  Then he gets magically transported into the “real” world, and is confused when all the stuff he did in the movie world doesn’t work.  Like, there’s a scene where he shoots at a car the bad guys are in, and is shocked when it doesn’t explode.

Still, that’s why people watch movies: to see stuff that doesn’t happen.