You may or may not be familiar with the game Doom. It was one of the first first-person shooter games, and help popularize the genre. Back in the ’90s, kids my age would play it, and our parents would worry that these violent games would warp our minds. Like we would all grow up to be a bunch of socially-maladjusted violent weirdos or something. But of course, we were all fine, just fine! It was merely a healthy outlet for our aggressive instincts, an aid to develop our hand/eye coordination, and a cure for adolescent boredom. We were cured, all right…

Anyway, the game was so popular, there was a series of novels based on it. This was before Harry Potter came out, so I guess they were desperate to try anything to get kids to read.

Unlike the game, where the protagonist is a silent cipher for the player to control, the novel introduces us to Cpl. Flynn “Fly” Taggart, a marine who has been disciplined for refusing to fire on civilians. Before he can be formally removed from the service, his unit is ordered to the Martian moon of Phobos, to investigate mysterious goings-on involving the Union Aerospace Corporation base there.

Fly is a likable character: tough, loyal, and unrelenting. A very Robert E. Howard-esque protagonist. Which is good, because he soon finds himself having to fight through hordes of nightmarish monsters that would be right at home in an REH story.

Also, in contrast to a game where the character’s motivation is up to the player, a character in a book needs specific and understandable reasons for doing what they do. And Fly has one: he’s searching for his fellow marine, PFC. Arlene Sanders, his best friend. And yes, they are just friends, that’s all. She’s going steady with another member of the unit, also a friend of Taggart’s. His narration keeps reminding us about their “just friends” status over and over until you know he’s lying, even to himself.

Is this a textbook 12-year-old boy’s fantasy; having to mow down hordes of increasingly horrifying monsters with an arsenal of increasingly powerful weapons, all in quest of finding that one girl that you insist you don’t have a crush on? Oh, yeah. Is it nonetheless surprisingly effective? Again, the answer is in the affirmative.

The writing is fresh and witty, and keeps the action moving along nicely while still allowing for some good character development. It’s not the greatest thing you’ll ever read, but I’ve read far worse. It was a story that kept me reading to see what would happen next, and that’s all you can really ask for out of a book.

Mark Paxson once described Stephen King’s The Gunslinger as “simple and brutal and intriguing”. That’s about how I’d describe this book… maybe with less emphasis on “intriguing”. It knows what it’s doing, and it does it well. There is no pretension here; just a simple story, told with hardboiled gallows humor and punctuated with cliffhangers at the ends of chapters. (And, for that matter, at the end of the book.) A latter-day pulp novel.

Truth be told, it was way better than I expected. Admittedly, it’s not a book for everyone. It’s violent, fast-paced, and doesn’t really break any new ground in terms of plot twists or the like. But it’s a fun way to kill a couple hours for anyone who enjoys sci-fi horror.

Now… if only someone had written a novel for Chex Quest.