I have fallen into a rut lately. Every book I’ve reviewed in January was sci-fi, and while all of them are worthwhile, the last thing I want to be is predictable. As Natalie Portman says in the great romantic short film True, “There are times when life calls out for a change. A transition. Like the seasons.”

And, what better time than the beastly month of February to turn my attention to romance books? This one caught my eye because of its title, and when I read the sample and found the author defines post-modern using a quote from The Simpsons, (“post-modern is weird for the sake of being weird.”) I knew I must read it.

The book is narrated by one Nick Ryder, who, you will note, is also listed as the author. More about this later. The Nick Ryder we meet in these pages is a lonely divorced father of two, whose only joy in life seems to come from running a film club that screens obscure movies once a week. He is desperate to find a woman–or more precisely, The Woman. You know, The One; the Soulmate. But it never seems to work out with any of the women he knows.

Part of the trouble is that Nick is kind of shallow. I mean, really, he uses a numerical ranking system to evaluate all potential mates. And he finds almost all of them wanting in one area or another. Also, with literally every woman he meets, the first thing he describes is the size of her breasts. (Again, assuming this is a character, he’s not supposed to be admirable, not even by his own lights.)

And yet, at the same time, perhaps Nick’s problem is that he is not shallow enough. That, at least, is the opinion of his neighbor Stephane, a tall, good-looking Frenchman who is a regular Casanova and treats women as light diversions. His view is that Nick needs to quit trying to find an emotional connection and “just have fun.” This does not come easily to Nick.

But when he meets an intriguing woman who calls herself Goldie at the film club, he falls under her spell, and soon they begin dating. Or something like dating. Well, they go places together, and share meals, and talk, and have sex. Whether any of this constitutes dating is something they debate.

Their relationship is not exactly a smooth one. Goldie certainly behaves quite irrationally a lot of the time, as our narrator is quick to point out. Then again, the narrator himself is not exactly well-acquainted with rationality either.

Of course, love is not rational. Human beings are not rational creatures, and if we were, it is entirely possible the whole species would go extinct. Perhaps our irrationality even provides an evolutionary advantage; did you ever think of that?

Still, not in this case, because Nick and Goldie’s relationship is just too insanely volatile to last. Also, there are too many secrets they keep from each other. Indeed, the deception and self-deception are so thick there are times that I couldn’t be sure whether something was a continuity error or just the characters not being honest with each other.

Which is not really a criticism of the book. Affairs of the heart are some of the hardest to explain, and the author accurately captures the whirlwind of confusing emotions that come into a play in a romance. The book conveys this well, maybe even too well, as the emotional whiplash can be almost as exhausting to read as it would be to experience.

This book is listed under “Humorous Fiction” on Amazon, but I have serious questions about that categorization. True, parts are very funny, especially early on; but the second half is almost harrowing in how it depicts a failing relationship, and the laughs are few and far between at that point.

And then there are the extremely explicit sex scenes. Personally, I prefer the good old-fashioned “they headed to the bedroom” and leaving it at that. I don’t really need the full play-by-play and color analysis treatment. Others may feel differently, of course.

So, all in all, I’d say it’s more of an erotic dramedy than humorous romantic fiction. Then again, those categories only showed up once a book has been purchased. They weren’t displaying until I bought a copy.

That’s right: I might actually be the only person who has ever read this book. Seriously, there are no reviews on Amazon. Nor on Goodreads. Nothing about the author, either; and seemingly no attempt whatsoever was made to market this. And, given that the author’s name is also the protagonist’s name, I kind of suspect it’s a pseudonym. (If it’s not a pseudonym, then, well I’m not sure what to think…)

In short, it is about as unknown as it gets; seemingly having lain undiscovered for over eight years, waiting for some lunatic looking for offbeat romance books to come along. I tell you, it’s things like this that make it all worthwhile!

Seriously, though: this book is quite good. Especially now, in a time when I think anyone who is single must be experiencing a sense that all romance is post-modern, by definition. Relationships in the modern world are one of the things that technology has made more difficult, rather than less.

I do recommend the book. Even with all its issues, from the unlikable protagonist to the uncomfortably graphic sex scenes, from the odd quirks of continuity (or are they quirks?) to the strange problems with chapter formatting. No, even with all that, it’s still worth reading for those who like literary fiction.