The great philosopher-humorist Zachary Shatzer recently told me I might read “too many books about gritty, unshaven antiheroes who say things like ‘Sometimes a man has to do what must be done.'” And he may well be right. I’m descended from Irish policemen, many of whom probably played by their own rules and refused to do things by the book. So I’m a sucker for stories about tough cops who can’t stand being hamstrung by red tape. My epithet might well be the line Gallus says to Sejanus in an episode of I, Claudius:

A song sung by every small-town corrupt policeman, which is what you are and what you should have stayed!

Well, come to that, I think Sejanus got a bad rap.  He was just trying to get stuff done in the notoriously corrupt Roman Empire. But I digress.

This book is about just one such gritty cop: David Forbes Carter, a brilliant, daring and extremely anti-bureaucracy Interplanetary Police Force agent. Since the mysterious death of his sister, Carter has become an increasingly loose cannon, and so the IPF assigns profiler Veronique de Tournay to try and get a sense of his unstable psychology and determine if he is still fit to serve.

It’s the classic set-up: two cops forced to work together, neither of whom likes the other. It’s been done a thousand times. But, as George Lucas once said, “they’re clichés because they work!” He ought to know. Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark are nothing but clichés, and they became some of the most beloved films in history.

So it is with Phoenix. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, and that’s exactly what made it so much fun; like seeing an old friend again after a few years. It doesn’t hurt that Janeski and I seem to have more or less the same vision for what a future solar system-spanning civilization would look like. Space stations, corrupt mega-corporations, cultists, conspiracies, etc. I had a very easy time picturing this world.

And of course, those cultists and conspiracies and mega-corporations soon get in the way of Agent de Tournay’s efforts at profiling Agent Carter, and the pair is caught up in trying to solve a massive plot to destroy the entire interplanetary government. As often as not, they resort to Carter’s decidedly non-standard methods of operating, though with time, Agent de Tournay helps him understand that waving a gun in people’s faces isn’t always the best answer to a problem.

Like I said, if you’re expecting something groundbreaking, you won’t find it here. But if you’re expecting a fun adventure story in a great sci-fi setting, this is just the ticket. And it would make a great movie!

Indie writers, take an hour of your time today to watch Saffron Asteria meet the Writers Supporting Writers group to discuss her work. Saffron is an incredible supporter of indie authors, and an all-around cool person. I encourage you to subscribe to her podcast BOOKED and watch her site Indiosyncrasy, which is currently undergoing a revamp, but which has been and will soon again be a wonderful place for indies.

This post isn’t just about football, though at first glance it appears to be. Stick with me, non-gridiron fans, it will be worth your while…

10 years ago tomorrow, the New England Patriots played the Denver Broncos for the AFC Championship. It’s one of my favorite football games ever, partially because I predicted how it would play out almost exactly. Defense wins championships, and the Denver defense of 2015 was tough enough that they could shut down the mighty Patriots and Tom Brady, with Peyton Manning more or less playing the football equivalent of El Cid.

But it wasn’t just that I called the game correctly that makes it a favorite memory of mine. I remember that at the same time I was watching it, I was also following news of the Paris premiere of a movie called Jane Got a Gun. I can literally remember seeing a picture of Natalie Portman and Joel Edgerton at the photocall at the same moment as Brady was throwing a seam route to Gronkowski on the Patriots’ last valiant, but ultimately doomed drive.

I’d been looking forward to Jane Got a Gun for months, and indeed I got to see it for myself on its US release five days later. See here for my retrospective thoughts on that film. It’s a small, but important, part of this story.

Fast-forward ten years, and a lot has changed. Not much of it, I am sad to report, for the better. Tom Brady won three more Super Bowls. Does Natalie Portman even still make movies? And there were… um… other things, too. We don’t need to get into specifics. To quote Jane Got a Gun: “It’s hard to remember how things seemed when you know how they actually turned out.”

But, like the Vicar of Bray, “whatsoever king may reign”, the Patriots will still be in the AFC championship, sir! And they are facing none other than the Denver Broncos again. Instead of Brady vs. Manning, we get Drake Maye (who?) vs. Jarrett Stidham (again, who?) What was it Marx said? Something about, “the first time as tragedy, the second time as farce”? Or, in the words of the anti-human philosopher Nick Land summarizing a scene in Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra:

The dwarf makes some kind of remark like, “even eternity is a circle,” or some kind of flip little remark… And Zarathustra says to the dwarf, “Oh, you know, don’t be an asshole. You know, like, it’s more interesting than that.”

It is, indeed, more interesting than that.

At first blush, you think: so the Broncos are starting some guy who hasn’t thrown a pass all year, the Patriots should easily beat them. But then you remember that even the Great and Powerful Belichick’s legendary defense lost to Nick Foles in a Super Bowl. And there is actually a possible advantage in starting a quarterback who hasn’t played all year: there is no film on him for the Patriots to study. Whatever little tics, tendencies, and tells Stidham has will have to be discovered as the game plays out.

I did say above that defense wins championships, and both the Broncos and the Patriots have outstanding defenses. It would be delightful for a traditionalist like me, in this modern era when all the rules are designed to give us 52-49 games, to see a conference championship decided by a score of 6-3. Or better yet, 5-0. Football is supposed to be a brutal, physical game where getting a field goal feels like a hard-won victory. Nowadays coaches pass up field goals like they are nothing. Is this related to the decline of modern society generally? I’m not saying that. I’m not not saying it either…

But, I’ve not yet finished explaining why that 2016 AFC Championship game is one of my favorites. Like the writers of Jane Got a Gun, I’ve deliberately structured this to keep the most important revelation for the end. You see, on that prediction post of mine from a decade ago, I made a friendly bet with a reader and fellow blogger named Barb Knowles. That led to an online friendship with Barb. And through Barb, I met Carrie Rubin. And Carrie pretty much single-handedly encouraged me to keep writing when I was about to give up.

It goes deeper than that. Through Carrie, I met Mark Paxson, and through him, Audrey Driscoll and Kevin Brennan. And through all of them, in various way, I’ve found Lorinda Taylor and Richard Pastore and Noah Goats and Peter Martuneac and Lydia Schoch and Chuck Litka and Roger Lewellyn. And through Noah, I’ve discovered Zachary Shatzer, and through Lydia, Adam Bertocci… and the list goes on and on. There’s a sidebar on this blog that has the full roster.

What if Barb hadn’t commented on that post? Or what if I had picked the Patriots, and she hadn’t felt the need to say anything as a result? Would I know any of these wonderful people? (Not to neglect the old guard, like Pat Prescott and Maggie, who have been with me since the Blogger days!)

So that’s why it’s one of my favorite football memories, even though on paper I should really dislike both teams. It led to some of the most enjoyable friendships I’ve made in my life, and I would be vastly poorer without them. It just goes to show you how a simple post about something as ephemeral as a football game can change your life in ways you never expected.

Anyway… I see Vegas favors the Patriots, just like they did last time. They’re probably right to. But as I just explained, I won big by picking the underdog ten years ago. And so… for auld lang syne:

Broncos: 22
Patriots: 20

When the history of our era is written, what will they say about our literature?

I can’t help asking this sort of question. I read about Weimar literature and fin de siècle literature and Victorian literature and all other sorts of literature categorized by historical period. Each one has some pithy one-line summary associated with it: Weimar was “experimental”, fin de siècle was “decadent”, Victorian was “sentimental”, and on and on. These words can hardly be expected to do justice to vast numbers of books written by countless people over periods of years, and each one represents only a general consensus of literary critics and historians. But, you know, you’ve got to start somewhere.

So, again: what are they going to say about our era? You know they’ll say something; they have to. What they say is going to depend on which books they read.

Well, for those future historians writing about “Early 21st century literature”, the works of Adam Bertocci are not a bad place to start. I’ve reviewed many of them already, but since he is not incredibly famous and wealthy thanks to the massive success of his books, clearly I have not reviewed enough of them yet.

Confessions of an Off-Brand Princess starts with a Bertoccian staple: a young woman named Sydney who is working her way through grad school as an employee of her step-mother’s company, which provides rent-a-princess services for children’s birthday parties. Sydney has played versions of all the recognizable fairy tale princesses, albeit with enough plausible deniability so as not to be sued by a certain mega corporation that owns the rights to many of their likenesses.

Sydney likes her job well enough, and her step-sisters are anything but wicked. Still, even though she enjoys her work, she can’t help feeling a sense of malaise as well as loss: her memories of her mother’s early death haunt her, perhaps more than she cares to admit.

The book blends deeply-felt human emotions with the superficial and banal tropes of commercialized princess culture. This, I finally realized, is why I love Bertocci’s work so much. I’ve occasionally heard critics complain that he undercuts the raw human emotion of his stories with superficial jokes and pop culture references, but this misses the point: the life experience of anyone born in the 1980s or later has involved searching for genuine expressions of real humanity, now obscured in a techno-decadent jungle. Like Diogenes of Sinope, we are all searching through this mass of ephemera for something true.

What becomes apparent only rather late in the story, is that it is a retelling of a classic fairy tale. Fairy tales are a tradition which reflects the changing state of culture. Most of the famous ones emerged from the dark forest of German Romanticism only to be sanitized by aforementioned mega corporation into mere trite caricatures.

And yet, as Sydney learns over the course of the story, it all springs from the same well of human desire. And so, Bertocci crafts a retelling for the 21st-century, where concerns like social media and paying for college and not being taken to court by a company known for a cartoon mouse occupy our time and mental energy.

Beneath it all lies something more important, but it takes a while to emerge. But when it does, it’s like the beam of a headlight piercing the dark of night.

When they go to write the history of 21st-century literature, they will have to include Bertocci. Few authors currently going understand our era as well, and even fewer have the gift of translating it to the page as he does.

On the one hand, you might be tempted to say, this book is just a zany comedy. It certainly has its share of zaniness. It’s about a woman who travels to a small river village, populated by colorful characters. A wizard named Zuzzingbar, a group of gossipy ladies, and a species of aquatic creature known as a “leaping chomper”, which is pretty much exactly what you’d expect it to be, are just some of the odd denizens of the place.

And then there’s Coren, a man cursed to never be allowed to set foot on dry land. So, he spends his days rowing up the aforementioned river. He has to, because if he doesn’t, he’ll go over the waterfall at the end of it.

Is this setting fertile ground for hilarity? It is! And there is plenty of that. Humorous hijinks abound. You might as well know that, despite the name on the cover, this is a Zachary Shatzer book. I’ve reviewed every one of his published books, and if you don’t know by now that I enjoy his work, well, you just haven’t been paying attention.

And yet… you might stop and wonder, why did he publish this under another name? Isn’t it just another one of his wizard stories?

Well, yes and no. It is another one of his wizard stories. But it is also something else.

You see in the description where it says it’s a “philosophical comedy”? Don’t ignore that first word. The book poses a philosophical and moral dilemma for the reader to puzzle over. And argue about ad nauseam. (Well, maybe that’s just me.) But it really is an interesting question of ethics that lies at the center of this seemingly light little comedy.

What is the interesting question, you ask? I’m not telling. That would be to spoil it! The whole story has been constructed specifically to invite the reader to think about this moral quandary. For me to just vomit forth my own interpretation would be leading the witness.

And how refreshing it is, I might add, to read a story that invites us to think, rather than lecturing us on what to believe. There is more than one way the story can be viewed, and that’s what makes it magical. Well, that and the wizards.

Is this Shatzer’s best book? I’m not sure—I really am fond of The Beach Wizard. But it’s in the top three, certainly, and it probably is the one that lends itself most readily to discussion and analysis. And it does it with the lightest of touches, without ever seeming heavy-handed or preachy. It’s just a story about some people and how they play the cards life deals them.

Cover art of 'The Marching Morons' by C. M. Kornbluth, depicting a futuristic city with towering skyscrapers, crowded streets, and large advertisements highlighting themes like overpopulation and anti-intellectualism.

In his penultimate album, the great singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen has a lyric, “You got me wishing, wishing our little love would last / You got me thinking like those people of the past.” And isn’t that the point of reading old books? To step into the shoes of people from a bygone age to see what exactly was on their minds?

Well, that’s what I think, and that’s why Little Red Reviewer’s Vintage Science-Fiction Month is such a valuable tradition. It gives us an excuse to go back to those sci-fi books of yesteryear, and see what, if anything, they can say to us in 2026. Well, what can “The Marching Morons” from 1951 tell us about the world of today?

Cover of a vintage science fiction book featuring a rocket and a cartoonish alien, with the text 'Red alert for the Interstellar Patrol The Vintage Science Fiction Month not-a-challenge'.

The book is set in the future, and begins with a humble potter excavating the ruins of the University of Chicago, where he finds a man called “Honest John Barlow”, who back in the 1980s had been placed in a state of suspended animation. With modern technology, he is quickly revived, and enters into his new reality, which, from books and films he has seen, he assumes will be high-tech, enlightened, and advanced.

However, Barlow quickly finds that all is not as he anticipated. Much of the world’s population lives in congested mega-cities, driving in cars that claim to go incredibly fast, but are actually modified with rigged speedometers that claim to go ten times faster than they do. The populace is awash in crude, vapid entertainment and hyper-sexualized electronic advertising. Current events, meanwhile, seem to be nothing but apathetic news personalities recounting one massive technological disaster after another and politicians speaking in ungrammatical and semi-literate soundbites.

Barlow, again falling back on his own reading of science fiction, assumes that the masses have been enslaved by a cadre of elites, and that the government handlers he has been assigned are the secret police of the tyrannical government that has let this occur. He demands to speak to their leadership.

Surprisingly, this request is granted, and they explain to him the the has got the situation all wrong: it is the billions of morons who have enslaved the relatively small handful of competent people still remaining. The latter are the people who keep the world (barely) functioning, supporting the ever-expanding hordes of imbeciles.

If this sounds as familiar to you as it did to me, it’s probably because it is almost exactly the plot of the 2006 comedy film Idiocracy. But here is where the two stories diverge, because while Idiocracy was a rather lighthearted comedy, “The Marching Morons” takes a much darker turn.

Barlow’s nickname is ironic, you see. He didn’t build a career in real estate back in his own time by being exceptionally ethical. And when the leadership of Earth explain their predicament to him, he responds by offering them a typically ruthless deal: he will help them with their moron problem, if they will name him Supreme World Dictator and give him money, power, and prestige. Not knowing what else to do, they agree to his demands, and Barlow then sets about implementing a massive propaganda campaign to sell the morons on the idea of vacations to Venus, and creating a program to dismantle the cities and use the material to build rockets which will take them to the supposed Venusian paradise.

Barlow, who is a bit of a racist in addition to his proclivity for shady real estate dealings, is a student of mid 20th-century Germany, and borrows heavily from that period in his plans for dealing with his captive population. Needless to say, his rockets do not actually go to Venus.

It’s not a long story. It appeared in Galaxy Magazine, where it took up a mere 30 pages, complete with very 1950s illustrations. (You can view it here.) Indeed, for a science-fiction story, it contained relatively little world-building. And yet, I did not feel that this was a serious problem; for it was as if the setting seemed already established in my mind. 

It’s always interesting, as I said, to know what “those people of the past” were thinking about. It’s even more interesting, once you know that, to speculate on what they would think about us, if they could know about our time. What would C.M. Kornbluth make of 2026, if he could see it? Well, I have an idea, but I’ll not put words in his mouth. Read the story, and decide for yourself. 

I’m a big believer in tradition. Not for nothing have friends compared me to Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof. Especially on topics like Halloween and college football, I am something of a zealot on matters of tradition. And I have to be! A tradition is like a plant: it must be nurtured, tended, and cared for. Otherwise it dies.

Today’s book is an example of a dead tradition. The introduction informs us that “reading a ghost story on Christmas Eve was once as much a part of traditional Christmas celebrations as turkey, eggnog, and Santa Claus.” In Victorian times, the “Christmas ghost story” was a cliché, but now the only trace of it that still exists in the popular consciousness is in Dickens’ A Christmas Carol and its many adaptations. (In the words of Bart Simpson, “TV writers have been milking that goat for years.”)

A cartoonist known as Seth aimed to revive this tradition, by republishing classic ghost stories, of which this is one, originally published in 1925. It’s about a young man who sees a ghostly woman in a bookstore, which was previously a residence. In a little-used annex, he finds a manuscript of poems she had written in life. Thinking perhaps it will put her spirit at rest, he decides to publish them himself.

Now, you might say, that sounds like a simple enough story. And it is—but the Victorians had another tradition, you see, and that tradition is also preserved in this volume. That tradition is: incredibly overwrought prose.

I’m no stranger to complex writing. I grew up on Gilbert, Hardy, and Lovecraft, you know. I’m not one of those people who thinks writing should be as concise as possible, as I’ve said more than once. But damn, this thing is something else. Everything is described in the minutest detail, and once you’ve got through reading it, you realize that you don’t know much more than when you started. It reminded me of Henry James, only more so.

It’s not actually a bad story in itself. It has kind of a twist, and it’s a twist that I think will appeal to writers in particular. I’ll give you a hint: how would you feel if someone published your drafts without permission? But the problem is that I had to plow through so much ornate verbiage to get to it that by the end I’m like, “is that it?”

That said, maybe it would work better read aloud to friends by firelight on a cold December evening, while drinking eggnog. Perhaps eggnog mixed with a goodly helping of rum. Then you and your friends could enjoy the story together, and engage in the delightful parlor game of debating why the room was green and what it symbolizes. And isn’t that the real point of reading?

Well, no, of course it’s not. That would be silly. Still, like the ghost of Maiden’s Peak haunting the summer festival, I enjoy keeping alive all the old legends that people have forgotten over the years. And I must thank Lydia Schoch for bringing this book to my attention. It took four years, but I finally got around to reading it! 🙂

They call him the Bard for a reason. Shakespeare took the English language and used it like he owned it, constantly inventing memorable turns of phrase. He was so good at it that by now it actually works against him. You’ll be watching a Shakespeare play and somebody says something and you roll your eyes and go “oh, that old cliché… oh, wait,” suddenly remembering that it wasn’t a cliché back then.

We still have some creative users of the English language with us today, even as modern communication technology homogenizes speech patterns. Adam Bertocci is one of them, and his latest book shows off his skill at the playing of words.

It’s a simple enough story, about a teenaged girl named McKenna who is cast as Mercutio in her high school’s production of Romeo and Juliet. Now, I have to confess my ignorance: I’d forgotten there even was such a character in R & J, if I ever knew it. It’s not my favorite Shakespeare—give me Macbeth or better yet, Coriolanus, any day.

But anyway, McKenna is assigned the rôle, as people used to call it, and it’s a tough challenge for her, because Mercutio, in case you also forgot, is a male. So she has to get in touch with her masculine side, and she figures that the best way to do that is hang out with her brother’s friends, including the boy she has a crush on.

What follows is a typically Bertoccian mix of wit and philosophy. Because of the age of the characters, it’s less about the angst of figuring out life as an adult, and more about the experience of growing up in the first place. As a result, it has more of a carefree, breezy quality to it, which is exactly as it should be.

I could go on, but I’ve been rallying people to read Bertocci’s books for years now, and I have a mind to keep on doing it. So what are you waiting for? Get out there and read it already!

How many of you remember the movie Jackie from 2016? It was well-received at the time, but like everything in our age of ephemera, it didn’t make any lasting impression. As the national motto says, “don’t ask questions, just consoom product, then get excited for next product.

Despite my best efforts (i.e. writing long-winded, rambling reviews) it didn’t even manage to garner Natalie Portman the second Oscar she deserved. It’s too bad, because if it had, it would have made the 2017 Best Picture announcement even more screwed up, since presumably Faye Dunaway would have announced Jackie as the winner when it wasn’t nominated.

On the other hand, more people probably remember Jackie than have read Daniel J. Boorstin’s The Image. Which is also too bad, because, as I said in my review, it basically predicted our current society.

If you don’t want to read (or reread) my review, the executive summary of Boorstin’s book is that ours is increasingly a world of what he termed “pseudo-events”. Pseudo-events being artificial creations of publicists and propagandists to generate news items, or what we today call “content.”

Careful readers will notice I’ve referenced one pseudo-event already: the Oscars, which is a ceremony based around people giving themselves awards for pretending to do things and creating elaborate illusions. It is a pseudo-event based on pseudo-events. Naturally, it is one of the biggest news events of the year, every year. Somewhere, Boorstin’s ghost mutters, “Q.E.D.”

And Jackie is a film about the construction of pseudo-events, images, and narratives. As the widow says towards the end of the film, “I believe the characters we read on the page become more real than the men who stand beside us.” Indeed.

Of course, the central precipitating event of the film is anything but pseudo, as it involves the real death of a real man. But from there, after a whirlwind of emotional agony, Mrs. Kennedy sets to work crafting the funeral for her husband, planning it with the same care she put into her renovations of the White House; with an eye to how the public will perceive it.

The film is framed as a conversation with a strangely disrespectful journalist, who strikes a decidedly abrasive tone with Mrs. Kennedy that seems impossible to imagine happening in real life. My interpretation is that this is meant to represent her impressions of the Press as a whole, rather than any single real event. Again: images!

Over the course of the film, the journalist develops a grudging respect for how skillfully she crafted political theater to convey her message, never more so than when she says the whole thing can be summarized by the last lines of the musical Camelot.

To be frank with you, it was the use of Camelot in the soundtrack of Jackie that inspired me to do this post. Let us peel back the layers of this pseudo-event onion: here we have a film about how people used a play based on a legend to craft a fictional narrative that then shapes reality. When you listen to the voice of Richard Burton portraying King Arthur singing about Camelot (which would have been the actual performance Kennedy would have heard) set to footage of Natalie Portman playing Jackie Kennedy spinning the whole thing for a magazine interview—well, it really does start to blur the line between reality and fiction.

Speaking of the footage of Portman-as-Kennedy: the film includes scenes where archival film of the real Jackie Kennedy is intercut with scenes of Portman mimicking her. Many a film reviewer noted how it was impossible to tell which was which. (I can tell which is which—but then, I had a poster of Ms. Portman in my room when I was 12.) Still, there’s no denying that the imitation is expertly done, and that an actress in a movie reenacting the words and mannerisms of a woman who was already putting on a performance for the television cameras just adds another layer to this kaleidoscope of unreality.

Boorstin, writing in 1962, already had plenty of material for his thesis from the Kennedy administration, not least of which was the famous observation that Kennedy’s appearance in a televised debate helped sway voters to him.  Jackie is practically The Image: The Movie, since it’s not only the same theme but even the same time period. (By the way, how excellent of a title is The Image: The Movie? They should have made that the subtitle.)

A lot of the advance press, including interviews from Portman herself, emphasized the “Female Power” aspect of the film. (This was late 2016, remember.) Frankly, this is something I’ve never really gotten from this movie. Jackie isn’t empowered, she’s a slave to public opinion, just like everyone else in Washington. She’s good at dealing with it, perhaps, but ultimately, the nature of the image-based world requires her to sacrifice what should be an intimate, private act of mourning her murdered husband to appease the all-seeing eye of mass media.

At least, I’m certain Boorstin would see it that way. The state of the “Graphic Revolution” as it existed in the early 1960s, and that Boorstin exhaustively documented in his book, is captured vividly in the film, to the point where you can see why Boorstin felt like he needed to sound some alarms.

However, there is one part of the film where the widow relinquishes control of her carefully-managed appearance and bares her soul. These are the scenes where she speaks to a priest, and they are some of the most interesting in the entire picture, so they are worth exploring in detail.

The Priest, played by legendary actor John Hurt in one of his final performances, is even more unlike a priest than The Journalist is unlike a journalist. Mostly in the sense that his attitude towards God seems distinctly atypical, as when he says, by way of consoling the widow:

There comes a time in man’s search for meaning when one realises that there are no answers. And when you come to that horrible, unavoidable realization, you accept it or you kill yourself. Or you simply stop searching… I have lived a blessed life. And yet every night, when I climb into bed, turn off the lights, and stare in to the dark, I wonder… Is this all there is?

I don’t think they’ll be printing that on sympathy cards anytime soon.

In these scenes, Mrs. Kennedy seems to be confessing to a terrible spiritual emptiness, which she has tried to fill by creating the image of an idyllic “Camelot.” But she has not succeeded, and dreams of surrendering, finally, to the void. The film ends with a strong implication that Jackie’s—and by extension, Jack’s—lasting legacy to the world is in the images they created. But for the people themselves, there is no true peace, no true meaning.

This is probably why the movie feels so disturbing and not completely satisfying. The bitter notes are all on a human level, while the notes of triumph and overcoming are all in the range of images and projections. The sacrificial fire casts beautiful shadows on the wall of the cave.

As a drama, it succeeds only intermittently. As a warning about pseudo-reality overtaking actual reality, it succeeds nearly as well as Boorstin’s magnum opus. Which is to say, (a) incredibly well and (b) not well enough. Because every trend Boorstin identified and every facet of political theater that Jackie exposes have grown exponentially since the 1960s. The only parts of Boorstin’s book that haven’t aged well are the ones where he says things like, “this cascade of pseudo-events reached a climax when…”

Buddy, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

This all leaves us with the question of whether it’s even possible to make a film, or any work of fiction, that warns about everything being fake. Since fiction is by definition fake, isn’t that just contributing to the problem?

I hope you aren’t expecting me to answer that, because the truth is, I don’t know. Or perhaps I suspect I do know, but I don’t like the answer I am coming up with. If it’s correct, it implies you should immediately log off and touch grass. In fact, you should never have come here to begin with when you got thinking about pseudo-events. If documenting the problem itself contributes to the problem… well, we have landed ourselves squarely back in one of those hyperstitional situations, as discussed last week.

The only vague shape of something resembling a solution that suggests itself to me are in the words of Ursula K. Le Guin in The Left Hand of Darkness:

To oppose something is to maintain it. They say here ‘all roads lead to Mishnory.’ To be sure, if you turn your back on Mishnory and walk away from it, you are still on the Mishnory road. To oppose vulgarity is inevitably to be vulgar. You must go somewhere else; you must have another goal; then you walk a different road…”

Ah, my friends; my loyal, loyal readers! We review a lot of strange books on this blog, don’t we? Old books, forgotten books, books possibly no one else has even read.

And yet I daresay this might be the strangest one we’ve ever done. Is it fiction? Is it philosophy? Is it from Heaven or is it from Hell? Well, maybe a bit of both. Let us, as my unwanted AI assistant is fond of saying, “dive in” and “discover” and “explore” this exceedingly bizarre volume together.

So first off, you might ask, “what is CCRU? Is it an acronym?” Well, yes and no. It might stand for “Cybernetic Culture Research Unit.” The “About the Author” listing on Amazon for this book states:

Cybernetic Culture Research Unit was a name on a door in the Philosophy Department of Warwick University, UK, during the late 1990s. It was a rogue unit, blurring the borders between traditional scholarship, cyberpunk sci-fi, and music journalism. Its frenzied interdisciplinary activity, including the Virtual Futures and Virotechnology conferences and the journal Abstract Culture, disturbed Warwick’s Philosophy Department, resulting in the termination of the unit.

On the other hand, one of the… well, let’s call them “stories” in the book itself alleges that CCRU is not an acronym at all, but the name of a Polynesian Demon of Apocalypse. But since this appears to be entirely made up by the authors of the text, there is no reason to assume this is the case.

Finally, the text on the back of the book states that “CCRU does not, has not, and will never exist.”

So, no one will acknowledge what the title of the book means or who wrote it. If this seems confusing and strange to you, just wait.

The contents of the book are organized into chapters, some of which read like prose poems in what can only be described as a techno-Lovecraftian mode. There are many references to worms, fish, ancient gods and the like, but in conjunction with turn-of-the-millennium computer jargon.

Perhaps most notable are the repeated references to lemurs. “Lemur” being a word both for the ring-tailed primates native to Madagascar as well as a derivation from the Latin word for ghost, lemurēs. In the context of the CCRU, the word seems to mean both at once, since lemurs are understood to be transcendent beings, pursuing some sort of unknown objective across vast gulfs of space and especially time. This is explained (using a very loose definition of the word “explained”) in the section “Lemurian Time War,” which describes how a man named William S. Burroughs wrote a book called Ghost Lemurs of Madagascar.

William S. Burroughs was real, and did write a book about lemurs in Madagascar, although it was called Ghost of Chance. The text described by the CCRU is supposedly sent backward from the future in order to allow it to be written.

Which brings me to the first of several notable concepts introduced in the CCRU’s corpus: the concept of hyperstition.

An amalgam of “hype” and “superstition”, a hyperstition is an idea which brings itself into being. A famous example of this is Roko’s Basilisk, a thought-experiment which suggests that if a super-intelligent AI exists in the future, it may punish those who tried to prevent its creation. Therefore, it is wise to do everything in one’s power to help create the super-intelligent AI.

You see the diabolical logic? By believing in this theory of a super-intelligent AI, we make it more likely that it will exist. Thus, with a lot of literary license, it can be seen as a type of time-travel; the AI reaching back from the future to instill beliefs that will lead to the creation of itself.

This is, in my opinion, interesting. Admittedly, it might be viewed as just a variant on Pascal’s Wager, but it’s an intriguing concept nonetheless.

It’s also a good illustration of CCRU’s cavalier approach to fiction vs. what we plebs call “reality.” As far as CCRU is concerned, there is no difference. If a fictional idea “exists”, what’s to say it’s less real than something that’s actually, you know, real?

Which is why, in addition to the references to the works of William S. Burroughs which are only loosely connected to the actual man by that name, we get references to writings by people like “Echidna Stillwell” and “Peter Vysparov”, who exchange letters on various cosmic horror abominations which they are assiduously researching. None of this stuff is “real” in the sense you or I understand the term, but it contributes to the overall CCRU philosophy.

What is the overall CCRU philosophy, you wonder?  Well, we’re getting there. It’s not really a thing that lends itself to easy summary, but rather emerges slowly, almost like an organic or chemical process, from the sulfurous stew of bizarre technogothery that foams and bubbles incoherently across the different chapters.

Basically, the picture that gradually emerges is not that different, in broad outlines, from the one painted by Paul Kingsnorth in the book I reviewed last week. Capitalism, far from being a mere system of economics, can be viewed as a kind of inhuman xeno-intelligence which operates according to its own logic, quite apart from anything the humans who make it run intend. Artificial Intelligence is simply the most evolved form of this fundamentally alien entity.

And like Kingsnorth, the CCRU views the thing in apocalyptic metaphysical terms. In this view, AI is not being developed by humans. Rather, it is a force coming from somewhere entirely separate from the everyday realm of human perception—a place sometimes ominously referred to, in the fine Lovecraftian tradition, as “The Outside.”

What is The Outside, and how do things get in from it? Well, Kingsnorth used the metaphor of the internet as a worldwide Ouija board, and this intuitively seems like an analogy of which the CCRU would approve. But they have an even more bizarre and esoteric method for consorting with the dark powers, called the Numogram.

The Numogram, which is the odd diagram you see on the cover, is CCRU’s qabbalistic calling card. It’s impossible to understand the philosophy of Lemurian Time-Sorcery without understanding the Numogram. Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) it is also impossible to understand the Numogram. Quoting directly from Part 8, “Pandemonium”:

“The Numogram, or decimal labyrinth, is composed of ten zones (numbered 0-9) and their interconnections. These zones are grouped into five pairs (syzygies) by nine-sum twinning (zygonovism). The arithmetical difference of each syzygy defines a current (or connection to a tractor zone). Currents constitute the primary flows of the Numogram.”

This is the part of the story where I’m most inclined to wonder if the whole thing is just an Andy Kaufman routine for eccentric philosophers. You can never be sure that the entirety of CCRU’s output is not some elaborate academic practical joke which is not terribly funny.

Except of course for one stark fact: viz., that to the extent anything can be gleaned from the CCRU writings, it is a prediction that AI will relentlessly conquer the world. And indeed, this prediction appears to be coming true. After all, AI is ubiquitous in cyberspace. Just in the course of writing this blog post, I keep getting irritating pop-ups telling me how I could write it “better”. I thought these were merely repetitive and annoying, but perhaps the CCRU is correct, and they are in fact intrusions from dark spiritual forces that lurk in the heart of internet, buried deep in the undersea cables that connect the Earth like monstrous worms. “Great holes secretly are digged where earth’s pores ought to suffice, and things have learnt to walk that ought to crawl.

Again and again, Kingsnorth and the CCRU align in ironic ways. Where Kingsnorth says “let ‘the West’ die”, CCRU writes cryptically, “America is nothing but the West, and that’s the Land of the Dead.” (“Going west” is archaic slang for dying, presumably because the sun “dies” in that direction at the end of every day.)

The one point on which CCRU differs significantly from Kingsnorth is that their view seems to be that the replacement of humanity by demonic machine intelligence is a good thing. Since I reviewed Kingsnorth’s book, it’s only right to consider the counter-point. We here at Ruined Chapel still follow the Fairness Doctrine, after all. And according to CCRU, humans are basically just an evolutionary mistake. There’s a whole section in here dedicated to explaining why bipeds are an aberration, and your really S-tier lifeforms should be quadrupeds, or better still, cephalopods.

I docked points from Kingsnorth’s book for failing to provide an adequate solution to what he persuasively described as a great spiritual void at the heart of modernity. Well, CCRU claims the void has already been filled—not by anything human, but by dread monsters that haunt the blackness between the stars. Where Kingsnorth would say we should try to remedy this, CCRU favors accelerationism: continuing the process of shredding all trappings of humanity in favor of becoming something else.

It all sounds a bit crazy. But, perhaps the craziest part is that it sounds a little less crazy now than it did at the turn of the millennium. Implausible, yes, but not wholly impossible

Speaking of the turn of the millennium, Y2K has immense spiritual significance in the CCRU philosophy. Besides the infamous glitch being a kind of “digital hyperstition”, it also marks the dawn of a new era.

Of all the weird vignettes in this book, none stuck with me as much as “The Excruciation of Hummpa-Taddum”. “Hummpa-Taddum” being supposedly some union of mythic gods that gave birth to the Age of Pisces, and even more supposedly, thinly disguised by Lewis Carroll as “Humpty Dumpty”. (To be clear, I can find no evidence that anything called “Hummpa-Taddum” exists in any folklore outside of this volume. Again, the casual mixing of fact and fiction till the lines blur beyond all recognizability is a CCRU specialty.)

The AOE [Architectonic Order of the Eschaton. Don’t ask.–B.G.]  focuses upon a single problem—acknowledging no other: how to reproduce magical power across discontinuity. As Hummpa-Taddum gets smashed on New Year’s Eve, substitute powers await their chance and their destiny, sober, patient, totally ruthless…

The question is, said Humpty Dumpty, which is to be master—that is all.

As longtime readers know, the aesthetic of “millennial weirdness” is a favorite hobby-horse of mine, and the CCRU Writings have it in spades.  And indeed, perhaps it is more than just an aesthetic found in the world of cyberpunk video games and Art Bell’s radio programs. It does feel, doesn’t it, as if something did change about a quarter-century ago. As if, to quote Lovecraft again, “the world and perhaps the universe had passed from the control of known gods or forces to that of gods and forces which were unknown.”

Let’s say, just for the sake of argument, that Kingsnorth is right: there is some malevolent metaphysical aspect to the rise of what he calls “The Machine.” If so, his plan of setting limits on screen time and not communing with the demonic presences “unless you really have to” is woefully inadequate. The CCRU actually provides a much more plausible roadmap to dealing with such forces, if they do indeed exist. The only issue, of course, is that their handbook provides instructions on how to summon the unholy powers.

As any good Lovecraft reader knows, the Necronomicon is a double-edged sword. You can use it to send the eldritch abominations back whence they came, if you know what you’re doing. And if we are truly in a spiritual war, we’ll need to have a grimoire or two in our toolkit.

But what exactly would this mean? Can we banish AI back into the Shadow Realm just by turning the Numogram upside-down? (It’s not like it would make any less sense.) Well, you could try it, I guess, but again, remember Kingsnorth’s warning about the internet-as-Ouija-board. More to the point, recall the words of the unnaturally long-lived 18th-century necromancer Joseph Curwen in Lovecraft’s The Case of Charles Dexter Ward:

I say to you againe, doe not call upp Any that you can not put downe; by the Which I meane, Any that can in Turne call up somewhat against you, whereby your Powerfullest Devices may not be of use. Ask of the Lesser, lest the greater shall not wish to Answer, and shall commande more than you.