A Challenge (updated)

So, I was working on a poem last night.  This is what I have:

He’s been sitting in this bar for the last fifteen years,

Waiting for the Devil to come make a deal for his soul.

Don’t bother to talk to him, I think that his ears

Are shot from all of this bad rock ‘n’ roll.

One more blood shot drink for the road… [This line contributed by Thingy]

Sitting in his battered car waiting for the ringing in his ears to stop

“What’s he waiting for?” he fumed. “All he need do is ask, I’ll come cheap.”

Starting up the car the road started swaying. A loud noise came from above.

He was buried under three stories when the earthquake finished.

With his spirit leaving he was met by a demon.

“This cannot be,” the man cried, “he hasn’t paid me for my soul!”

The demon laughed maniacally, “Why would he pay for something he already owns?” [These lines contributed by P.M. Prescott.]

I happen to really like these lines.  Unfortunately, I have no idea what to say next, or even if it should be funny, scary, sad or what.  But those lines are, in my opinion, too good to waste.

So, I am putting it out for you readers to work with.  If you can think of what comes next, put it in the comments, or alternatively post it on your own blog and let me know so I can link to it.

And sorry, there is no prize, in case you were wondering.

7 Comments

  1. How’s this?
    Sitting in his battered car waiting for the ringing in his ears to stop
    “What’s he waiting for?” he fumed. “All he need do is ask, I’ll come cheap.”
    Starting up the car the road started swaying. A loud noise came from above.
    He was buried under three stories when the earthquake finished.
    With his spirit leaving he was met by a demon.
    “This cannot be,” the man cried, “he hasn’t paid me for my soul!”
    The demon laughed maniacally, “Why would he pay for something he already owns?”

Leave a Reply to mysterious man from the shadows Cancel reply