[Sometimes I just get these ideas–I was thinking about the ME 3 ending, and it occurred to me how much its profoundly messed-up logic could have been improved by borrowing from a certain Gilbert and Sullivan opera. Then I realized they even had the perfect character to do so…]
[Shepard has just met the Catalyst]
Shepard: Do you know how I can stop the Reapers?
Catalyst: I control the Reapers. They are my solution. Every 50,000 years, I have them wipe out organics who will create synthetics who would wipe out the organics.
Shepard: What? That’s insane!
Catalyst: The created always rebel against the creators. The Reapers must wipe out all organics who are capable of creating synthetics.
[Enter Mordin Solus, who has survived the events on Tuchanka and secretly boarded the Citadel.]
Mordin: Allow me, as an old Gilbert and Sullivan fan, to make a suggestion. The subtleties of the Salarian mind are equal to the emergency. The thing is really quite simple – the insertion of a single word will do it. Let it stand that every organic shall die who doesn’t create synthetics, and there you are, out of your difficulty at once!
Catalyst: Oh. Very well.
[Catalyst vanishes, Reaper invasion stops. The entire cast enters.]
Hip hip hurray,
All is okay–
Ev’rything is copacetic!
There’ll be no death
Even for Geth–
Peace to all who art synthetic!
Though ’twas a general rule in times before:
“Created must oppose the creator”
This time around, we sought to fix
Problems caused by the synthetics.
We might have been
Like a machine–
It was nearly cause for panics!
But now a peace,
Has brought a cease
To the harvest of organics!
The three choices given this organic (alluding to Shepard)
All seemed just a bit tyrannic!
He’s/I’m Commander Shepard, here to tell
You/Us his favorite choice on the Citadel!