Back in May, I wrote about Vogel’s Scout’s Honor, the first in his sword-and-planet Scout series. Hart for Adventure is a prequel to that series, and it fits in well. It follows Terran scout Gavin Hart, who crash lands on a world that appears deserted, finding only the overgrown ruins of an alien city.
Hart soon finds his way to a mysterious chamber where he is knocked unconscious and reawakens to find the planet around him teeming with life—not all of it friendly, as he soon discovers when he clashes with a marauding warlord and his hordes.
Hart, with his superior technology, quickly gains some allies, who see him as almost God-like. However, even these advantages, survival is no sure thing, especially once Hart uncovers the mind-bending and (not to give away too much) time-bending nature of the peril he faces.
The prose is crisp and the plot is fast-paced. There isn’t too much description—I would have liked a bit more—but there was enough to get an idea of the world where Hart’s swashbuckling adventures take place.
If you’ve already read some of Vogel’s other Scout books, you’ll have a feel for this: daring good guys, evil bad guys, lots of sword fights and other Edgar Rice Burroughs-esque escapades. Like the other books in the series, it’s an unashamed throwback to that style of fun-loving old-fashioned adventure story. Don’t go in expecting deep, intricate world-building or characters—this is light, breezy reading that makes for perfect sci-fi/fantasy escapism.
This book was shorter than Scout’s Honor—more a sketch than the fully-realized world—but it works well as a prequel to the main series. If you haven’t read the other Scout books, this is a fine introduction to the series. And if you have read them and want more sword-and-planet adventures, this is a perfect way to get your fix.
[NOTE: This review is based on ARC of the book, received from the author.]
The McIntyre building’s lobby featured a polished faux-marble floor and glossy orange-gold walls ornamented by large, brightly-colored abstract paintings. But while the designs were loud, the lobby itself was quiet, the reception desk empty save for a lone lava lamp. The absence of a chair suggested the vacancy was permanent. The only sounds was the unnerving click of the two detectives’ heels as they walked towards the doors of the magnetic multivator.
“I expected it would be busier,” Venus muttered as the polished door slid open and they entered.
Sandra said nothing. She was mulling over what she would say to McIntyre. One by one, she watched as the numbered lights blinked on and off as they ascended. Finally, they reached the 17th floor and stepped out into a long hallway of deep purplish red. There were no decorative art pieces here, only a series of oil paintings of the McIntyres of yesteryear. Stern men in dark suits, glaring darkly at all who passed by en route to the office of their descendant at the end of the hall.
The door was open, and Mr. Tobias McIntyre was seated at a large wooden desk, his hands folded neatly in front of him. He was a tall, aristocratic-looking man, with short salt-and-pepper hair and a darker goatee. He wore a pale yellow suit, with a burgundy dress shirt and matching tie. In a chair beside his desk was seated a young woman with short, dark hair, and a pleasant smile, dressed in a teal blouse and skirt.
“Ah, you must be the reporters,” said McIntyre, rising to shake hands. “What a pleasure, what a pleasure.”
After introductions, during which they learned the young woman was Suzanne, his administrative assistant and operations manager, Sandra started off with her questions while Venus took notes.
“What is the number one challenge facing McIntyre’s Mechanicals today?”
“Well, I don’t think of it as a challenge; I think of it as an opportunity, but it’s the same thing it’s been for the last few decades: how to re-position ourselves to continue thriving in a world where military mechanicals are no longer produced. There are lots of opportunities, in fact—civilian uses for mechanicals are being considered at all times, and I’m confident that with our resources, we’re set up well to take advantage.”
“I see. Is there a lot of investment in that area?”
“Ah, there’s a fine question! Well, now, that’s true—getting the necessary capital to start up robot factories has proven a trifle difficult. That said, I’m quite certain we can. After all, unlike some competitors, we are not carnival barkers turning our facilities into venues for dog-and-pony shows. I won’t name any names,” he said with a sly smile.
“Speaking of others in the robotics business… I’m sure you heard about the tragedy at Lurge Robotics.”
“Terrible, yes. My condolences to the family. A great loss for the robot manufacturing, ah, community,” he said, the smile not leaving his face.
“Did you know Mr. Lurge well”
“Only from business connections.In fact, I bumped into him at a ChamComm meeting just last week; he was more talkative than he had been in quite some time.” He made a strange, guttural noise.“Come to think of it, he told me he was looking forward to ‘the best October in years”.” McIntyre tried, and failed, to keep the slight twist of a smile from his lips as he said soberly, “Ironic, in light of the subsequent tragedy.”
“Is safety a particular challenge for a de-commissioned facility?”
McIntyre leaned back in his chair, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Well now, really, ma’am; surely that’s a question better put to the Lurge company. All I can say is that such an accident would be unthinkable at a McIntyre property. We have not a single accident to our name in a long time—not since the Great Robot War of ’57 was at its peak! I can’t speak to the track record of any of our competitors, but. . .” he grinned again. “Can I tell you something off the record?”
Sandra and Venus exchanged a glance. “Sure,” said Sandra.
“This doesn’t leave this room, understand? Good. Then let me just say, any company that tries to profit off of ghost stories on its grounds must not have a very strong track record with safety, you take?”
He chuckled, as did Suzanne. Sandra and Venus nodded politely.
“You mentioned civilian applications of your technology—can you elaborate on that?” Sandra asked.
“The government’s restrictions on the use of robotics technology are very strict,” Venus put in, and then immediately looked abashed at the gaze Sandra shot in her direction.
“Uh, well, yes—of course. That’s-that’s definitely something we consider. I, uh, probably shouldn’t say too much more, actually, other than that there are a lot of exciting things in the pipeline.”
“I see,” Sandra nodded. “So, would you say our readers can look forward to big things from McIntyre’s Mechanicals in the near future?”
“Absolutely! That’s just what I’d tell ‘em. You got it.” He said, with an encouraging fist pump. “Now, uh, I’d love to continue this but I have another appointment coming up. Remind me, Suzanne—what is it again?”
“You have a conference call with prospective clients about bulk orders at 3:30,” she said smartly.
“Ah, yes, that’s it. Well, it’s been lovely talking to you ladies—do come by again sometime.”
“Actually, I had one more question, Mr. McIntyre. It’s quick,” said Sandra, smiling prettily.
“Oh, well; if it’s quick, how can I say no?”
“I just was wondering how many workers McIntyre’s Mechanicals employs?”
“Um—” he said, biting his lip, but Suzanne quickly interjected, “We employ so many seasonal and temporary workers that it’s hard to give an exact figure. It can depend on the day. However, I can assure you that recent estimates show we contribute millions annually to Gelunbu’s GDP.” She smiled pleasantly, but in a way that said not to ask any more questions.
“Perfect!” said Sandra brightly. “Again, thank you for your time.” She and Venus bade both farewell and returned to the multivator. Once inside, Sandra pressed the button for the lobby level — and for four or five floors in between.
Venus arched her brows quizzically. Sandra just smiled, took some lip gloss from her purse and lightly applied it to her mouth, and waited for the doors to open to floor 14. When they did, the two women looked out at row upon row of empty cubicles.
At last, after checking a few more floors, each with similar results, they exited the building and walked back towards Sandra’s orange hatchback.
Sandra laughed, and Venus shook her head. “I don’t think they have any other employees at that company. They have Mr. McIntyre as founder and CEO, and Suzanne is his secretary. They probably make money solely by filing copyright lawsuits on various designs and technologies.”
“ I’ll bet you’re right.And it was a stroke of genius to check that out. But that still doesn’t help us with the whole did-they-kill-Mr.-Lurge question,” said Venus.
“Indeed it doesn’t,” Max concurred over the speaker in the dashboard.
“Do you have to do that?” Sandra grumbled.
“Don’t you relish hearing my dulcet tones, Sandy?”
Sandy ignored this and powered up the hatchback.
“So, what’s our next stop, Boss?,” Sandra asked.“The factory, right?”
“Bingo!” said Max. “I knew you’d feel that way, so I called ahead. The place is closed down of course, but the night watchman on duty the night of Mr. Lurge’s demise will be there. Talk to him.Check out his alibi. Get an little details that might not have made their way to the police report.You know — work your magic, Sandra.”
Venus shook her head.“You two work so much faster than we did at the FES!”
Sandra answered at once. “Too much for ya? Want me to drop you off and take care of this on my own?”
“No, no; not at all. I love it. Beats all the paperwork and approvals I’m used to.”
“Oh,” said Sandra, feeling rather put out.
“You see?” Max intoned cheerfully. “You two make a great team!”
2020 is a perfect year to read this book. Lately, we’ve been getting a practical demonstration of Murphy’s Law in action, as well as the importance of preparing for a major disaster, and Fan Plan is an alternative history of just such a disaster: a meteor strikes the Yellowstone Caldera, setting in motion a chain reaction with the potential to create a super-volcano that will destroy life on earth.
Computers at the TransGlobal Oil corporation project the catastrophic results, and so the family that owns the company begins making preparations to allow their descendants to survive the coming apocalypse with some chance of rebuilding civilization.
The book then flashes back in time to tell the history of TGO. This is a tale of money, oil, family drama, the cynical machinations of wealthy western society, and sex. Shades of Dallas. Through it all, TGO gradually grows until it finally has the resources to prepare for the apocalypse. The family raises each generation to be prepared for the day when they inherit the responsibility of executing the “Fan Plan”–so named because it’s a plan for when “it” hits the fan, as the saying goes.
The latter stages of the book involve the latest generation of heirs to TGO becoming educated on the history of how societies rise and fall. The central theme of their education revolves around religion, and its ability to inspire and unite as well as to suffocate and destroy, depending how it is handled. Some readers might find these chapters a bit long-winded or preachy, too heavy on lecturing about history. I say this because I know every reader has their own tastes, but personally, as a huge fan of reading about cycles of civilizational collapse and rebirth, I enjoyed these sections quite a bit. And I learned some things too, so if you’re of a mind to study up on how nations fall apart, you could do worse than reading this.
There were a few technical issues with typos and formatting, but the new 2020 edition is much tidier than the 2013 original. (Again, this is one thing that’s great about eBooks!) The book reads in a smooth, conversational way–I could imagine that I myself was sitting around a campfire, listening to Hank, the character who holds forth in the later sections, educating his charges on history and philosophy. In fact, I listened to some portions of this book using my computer’s speech function, and it worked quite well.
Max cleared his throat. “Well, I suppose this is as good an opportunity as any for turning it over to you, Mrs. Lurge. Can you tell us why you’re so sureMr. McIntyre had a hand in your husband’s death?”
“Why, the McIntyres have been rivals with the Lurges since the beginning! You know—everyone knows. This city has been the home of the robotics industry ever since the war. The Lurge family was first of course,” she said firmly.
“Of course,” said Max.
“—but the McIntyres have always been nipping at our heels. You know, they say that even at the height of the war in ’57, the McIntyres were sending spies in to steal our designs.”
“Surely all that’s behind you now,” said Max hastily. “The Robot Wars are history—military robotics have been banned.”
“Oh, sure,” said the widow sarcastically, “but, well… R&D doesn’t just stop.Prototypes don’t just disappear. The government may have outlawed military robotics research officially, but we’re still a key part of industry, and the McIntyres are just green with envy about it.”
There was a long pause. Venus glanced at Sandra, hoping for a cue as to how to reply.
“As I understand it, most of the Lurge revenue these days comes from tourists and historians interested in the old family plant,” said Max finally.
She gave a most un-lady-like snort. “Only because the McIntyres hired out-of-state lawyers who could find them ways to leech up IRRP funding, forcing us to do something to stay in the game,” she spat. She paused a moment, trying to restore her demure manner.“But yes, it so happens that we have been able to carve a very lucrative niche for ourselves as a number one attraction for visitors to Gelunbu.”
“It certainly is,” Venus jumped in seeming eager for the diversion, “Uh,I saw a fascinating piece on it from the ChamCom just the other day.It’s hard to miss the holoverts on the bypass, especially this time of year.”
Mrs. Lurge gave a small but warm smile towards Venus. “Thank you, dear. Our Haunt-omaton tour gets more popular every year. We’re very proud of it, and what it means to the community.”
“Hold on,” said Sandra. “What is this now?”
Mrs. Lurge turned to her with an air of disapproval. “The annual Lurge factory Haunt-omaton tour and Robo-ghost Factory attracts tens of thousands of visitors every year,” she said coldly, “Not to mention all the paranormal historians who come to investigate.”
“Oh… well, good,” said Sandra.
“It’s been an excellent source of revenue for the company since the government outlawed their original raison d’être after the war,” said Max, and, as if sensing Mrs. Lurge’s icy glare, added hastily, “And the tour provides a wonderful night of thrills and chills for young and old alike.”
He sounds like he’s reading off a brochure, Sandra smirked inwardly. Still, she marveled at Max’s ability to be so fast on his feet and to come up with these tidbits of trivia .
Mrs. Lurge seemed as though she might continue on this tangent, so Sandra gently nudged her back on topic.
“And the McIntyre outfit… they’ve got nothing like this tour, I take it?”
“No,” the older woman sniffed. “They lack our vision.As does the state bureaucracy. Don’t get me started on the government. They’ve been trying to buy out the factory from us every other day. But that’s not the key issue here.”
Mrs. Lurge leaned in closer, almost conspiratorially: “Do you know, Lothar has been convinced that McIntyre and his goons have been sabotaging our factory for years? It started as simple vandalism, or stolen goods. But lately it’s been escalating—missing components from the displays, pipes breaking, electricity flickering on and off at random times.”
“Why would McIntyre do that? Seems like a good way to get his keister charged with corporate espionage,” asked Sandra.
Mrs. Lurge pursed her lips. “There are many reasons: first and foremost, jealousy. But more than that, as I said, the state wants to buy us out. Don’t you see: McIntyre would love nothing more than to see us crushed by those do-nothing bureaucrats. So he was trying to make it impossible for us to operate.”
“Do you have any, ah, hard evidence of this, Mrs. Lurge?” asked Max.
She shot a stern look at the base station. “I have Lothar’s word.”
“Yes, well… I’m afraid that wouldn’t hold up in a court of law.”
“That’s why I’m hiring you people,” she snapped, rising from her seat abruptly. “Do some digging! McIntyre’s been working every angle he can since he took over from his father.I’m sure you’ll find out plenty about what he’s been doing—and I’m sure you’ll find it includes complicity in the murder of my husband. She narrowed her gaze in the direction of the comm unit.“As we discussed, I’m prepared to pay whatever it takes to make this happen.”
“We’ll do everything we can, Mrs. Lurge,” Venus assured her.
“Good. I suggest you start by questioning McIntyre. I’m sure that snake will crack under the pressure.” she picked up her bag and turned towards the door. “I will let you get to work. Good day.”
And with that, she strode out of the office.
Venus and Sandra exchanged surprised looks.
“She sure is hung up on the McIntyre angle, isn’t she?” said Venus.
“She is indeed,” Max agreed. “Probably unreasonably, if I do say so myself. Still, there may be something to it.There’s obviously no love lost between the families. I’ll be interested in your impressions of the man.”
“What can you tell us about him? If we’re going to talk to him, we’ll need a plan of attack.”
“Well, my sources indicate he’s always eager to do press pieces in order to keep his company’s name in the news, he’s on the point of concluding a very lucrative deal with the Department of Defense, his office is on the 20th floor of the McIntyre building, and you ladies have an appointment scheduled with him at 3PM tomorrow, your cover story being that you’re reporters for Gelunbu Business Magazine.”
Venus looked at Sandra in amazement. Sandra responded with a knowing smile. “He does that. You’ll get used to it.”
“How…?” Venus asked.
Max added with a wry, false-modest chuckle, “I have to wear a lot of hats at once, but I try cover all the angles. Consider that the compensation for my not being able to join in person. Although many women would say seeing my chiseled visage would be well worth sacrificing my many other talents.”
“Well, thank you very much,” said Venus, while Sandra rolled her eyes.
This is a short story set in Painter’s world of Osteria. Osteria is a sort of post-apocalyptic setting in which many of the Ancient Greek and Roman traditions and beliefs have been revived.
A Feast for Sight is a story that fits this setting well. It deals with three oracles, who tell their clients the future–for a price. What the price is, I won’t describe, but the sensitive reader should be warned that it is quite macabre; and increasingly so as the story unfolds. I have only a little knowledge of Greek drama, but this seems entirely in line with the usual tone of the classic stories. The Greek tragedies are full of gruesome and unsettling elements, and this story is full of the same.
It’s also rather funny, in a very dark way, obviously. Fans of twisted humor will certainly enjoy the ironic ending. It has a very Ambrose Bierce-esque approach to humor in that regard.
The book is available for free through Painter’s website by subscribing to her newsletter. It certainly is effective as a promotional device, because after reading it, I was quite eager to learn more about the world of Osteria. And as a rule, I am not someone who enjoys stories as dark as this, but I have to give credit where due–the premise is interesting enough that it made me want to read more. A Feast for Sight probably won’t be for everyone, but for those who enjoy classic literature and dark humor, it will be a treat.
Sandra blinked several times. There was something downright intimidating about this woman. Although she was very attractive, Sandra immediately rethought her guess about why she had been hired— she just didn’t seem like the type to have used a physical relationship with Max to get a job.
“Uh, hi,” said Sandra, shaking the stranger’s firm, well-manicured hand.
An awkward silence stretched between them.
“So,” Venus said, her smile tightening as she sensed the tension, “Where do we start?”
“What did Max tell you?”
“That you would fill me in.”
Great; I’m training my replacement. Aloud, she said, “Okay, first how about you fill me in on who you are?”
Venus shrugged. “Well, sure, but there’s not much to tell. I was an officer in the Federal Espionage Service for the past seven years—handled various projects; breaking up arms dealers, smugglers; stuff like that.”
Yeah, boring stuff like that. “Why’d you leave FES?”
Venus bit her lip slightly before answering. “I just felt like I needed a change—needed to spread my wings a bit, y’know?”
“RIF’d in the big defense draw-down, huh?” Sandra said, an edge to her voice.
“Uh… yeah,” Venus replied softly.
“Well, look; I dunno how they did business in the Service, but here, we don’t have big budgets and lots of support staff to throw at a problem. We use our wits, and we do everything we can to help the clients. Because the client is the bottom line, okay? The way we stay afloat is by providing the best service we can to everyone who hires us. The client comes first, last, and in the middle, got it?”
Before Venus could respond, Max’s voice crackled over the comm cube on the desk. “Wonderful!” he said, “Now that you two ladies have gotten acquainted, let’s get started. We’ve only got a few moments before Mrs. Lurge should arrive.”
Venus took a chair at the conference table, while Sandra hastily swept the bulk of the detritus on the spare desk into one of its empty drawers and perched atop the desk.
“Here’s what we know.On the morning of October the 1st, at about 4AM, an emergency call was received from the Lurge Robotics Factory. The night watchman reported that he’d found the body of Mr. Lothar Lurge on the old factory floor, cut to pieces by a laser grater.” Both of the women grimaced.
“To the watchman’s knowledge, there was no one else inside the factory that night. He said he had remained in his office throughout the night, except for checking on the assembly lines and floor area only every three hours, as outlined in his schedule. This puts the time of death for Mr. Lurge at some time between 1 and 4 AM. The record of the watchman’s keycard swipes corroborates his story.”
“Did the watchman say why Mr. Lurge was there so late?”
“No, he did not. He says he was not notified of his presence there. Which brings us to another important point: Mr. Lurge entered the factory through a little-used back door, rather than via the main entrance, which all personnel are required to use. There is no record of him swiping at the front door, and this maintenance door was left ajar.”
“Hold on a sec, Max,” said Sandra.
Venus had been hesitantly raising her hand while Max had been speaking, and she now pointed over Sandra’s shoulder. “Now what?” she said with more annoyance to Venus.
“Is that lady at the door our client?”
Sandra whirled around, and saw a woman in a black dress and jacket standing outside the office door, staring at them with some confusion.
“Oh, uh, yeah, maybe,” she said, scurrying across the room and opening the door. “Sorry about that, ma’am.”
The petite middle-aged woman walked in and took the chair Venus offered her. Her demeanor was haughty and reserved, but her face was drawn, and her eyes were tired and a little puffy.
“Mrs. Lurge, so sorry to meet you under these sad circumstances. I’m Sandra Darcy, this is Venus Miles.”
Venus added, “Mr. Lurge was so important to the community,”
“Thank you, I appreciate that.”
“My condolences as well, Mrs. Lurge,” Max’s voice crackled over the comm. base station on the desk, causing the older woman to jump slightly, while Sandra only folded her arms in annoyance at Max’s love of joining unexpectedly.
“My apologies for not appearing in person. When you’re spread as thin as I am, you have no choice but to try to be in multiple places at once. My team and I have just finished reviewing the basic facts surrounding your late husband’s demise. Perhaps you can shed some light on certain points in the police report. To begin with, did your husband tell you why he was going to the factory in the middle of the night? ”
“He did not.” replied the stone-faced widow.
“Do you know why he would have used the back entrance?” Sandra tried again.
“No! He wouldn’t have,” the older woman snapped. “And even if he did, you can be damn sure he’d lock the door behind him! That’s why I know it was no accident! That’s how I know he was—was…”
She trailed off, choking back a sob.
Max coughed softly and resumed. “Curiously, the police made a thorough search of the area, and about 300 yards out from the factory, they found a trail of footprints leading down from a back road a mile or so behind the complex.”
All three women leaned forward on hearing this.
“Were they Lurge’s footprints?” Sandra asked.
Max paused portentously. “Definitely not. They were a size smaller and did not match the dress shoes Mr. Lurge was wearing when he was discovered. They appear to have been a man’s work-boots.”
“Now, you say they were about 300 yards out,” said Venus, a little hesitantly. “So what, these prints just stop 300 yards away?”
“Well, yes—they stop, turn around, and go back the way they came. The police’s working theory is that someone parked on the road, approached the factory, and left.”
“Well, hell; Max that’s suspicious as all get out,” exclaimed Sandra.
“Yes, it is. But at the same time, there’s no obvious connection between that and the death of Mr. Lurge. It’s an odd coincidence, to be sure, but—”
“McIntyre,” said Mrs. Lurge. She spat out the name like an obscenity. “It had to be that bastard McIntyre!”
I recently reviewed Henry Vogel’s Sword & Planet book Scout’s Honor. While browsing his other works, this book caught my eye because it appeared to be more traditional spacefaring sci-fi, which is one of my favorite genres. And it features a pair of likable characters going on adventures, another premise that I like.
Matt Connaught is the heir to the GenCo fortune–except that while everyone else believes his parents are dead, his psychic abilities tell him they are still alive. Matt sets off to find them, accompanied by his bodyguard, Michelle. Michelle, the daughter of Matt’s primary security chief, Jonas, has been guarding Matt for years, in the guise of being merely his classmate.
As it turns out, the two have been in love with one another from afar for years, and when they set off on the galaxy-trotting adventure to find Matt’s parents, their romance blooms. The middle section of the book is almost a rom-com in space. I typically don’t read romance, unless it’s blended with some other genre, and that’s exactly what Vogel does here: a romantic road comedy, but in space!
And it’s not all romance–there are plenty of chases, shootouts, and even a few space battles. It’s first and foremost a sci-fi romp, with elements of a techno-thriller sprinkled in. Matt and Michelle are a good couple, and some of the supporting characters are really fun. Flight Commander Nancy Martin is great, and Jonas, with his extreme competence and formal style, is also highly enjoyable. I don’t know that this was the author’s intention, but his manner of speaking made me automatically hear his lines in the voice of Stephen Fry as Reginald Jeeves, which was another plus.
My biggest complaint is that the villains of the story are so nebulous that I was barely even aware they existed. There is some foreshadowing, but when Matt uncovers who is behind the whole thing, it felt a bit out of the blue. (Or is that out of the black, since this is space, after all?)
But in the scheme of things, that isn’t really a problem, because what makes this story enjoyable is the feeling of romance and adventure. The resolution of the plot isn’t as important as the thrill of following Matt and Michelle from one daring escape to the next. It’s an unashamedly fun book. It’s much like Scout’s Honor in that regard: a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously, and invites the reader to come along on an exciting space operatic joyride.
Now, lately in my reviews, I’ve found myself talking more and more about covers. I haven’t meant to do this, and we all know the ancient wisdom “not to judge a book…” etc. This are just my opinions on aesthetics, and independent of my take on the books themselves. I’ll try to cut down on this sort of thing, but I just have to talk about it here.
The cover above is on the Kindle edition that I have. And it’s fine. It maybe makes the book seem a bit more cartoonish than it really is, but it’s distinctive enough.
But, over on Goodreads, I saw this cover:
I love this cover. The font might be a little plain, but that artwork just screams “classic space opera adventure.” There are a couple different scenes in the book this could be depicting, and I feel like seeing it helps me imagine the whole universe of the story. It perfectly captures that throwback, Golden Age of sci-fi vibe that Vogel’s books evoke.
Sandra Darcy was lounging on her back porch, savoring the smell of coffee wafting from her mug and the golden-orange leaves rustling in the October breeze, when her phone emitted a familiar synth riff. It was the ringtone reserved for her boss, Maximillian Pallindrone.
“Good morning, Sandy,” came the gravelly-yet-melodic voice of her employer. “I do hate to disturb you on this fine Sunday, but we have a client who is most insistent about meeting.”
She groaned theatrically. “Really, Max? Can’t it wait until tomorrow?”
“I’m afraid not. This is a big enough case I can promise that it will be worth our while, and it hits close to home. It’s Widow Lurge.”
Sandra nearly spit out her first swig of coffee. “Lurge? The robot factory Lurge?”
“The very same.”
“I assume it’s about her late husband?”
“Your assumption is correct, as usual. I’ll fill you in on the details on your way over to the agency. She will meet us at 12:30.”
“And let me guess: even though I’m supposed to be there in person, you’ll be joining us by remote conference call?”
“But of course.”
Sandra glanced at her phone. 10:37. Barely enough time for her to grab a shower and dress. She glanced mournfully at the nearly full pot of coffee sitting on her counter top.
“Awright. Talk to you then.” she said, walking in through the sliding glass door and ending the call. She set her mug down in the dishwasher and scurried to the bathroom, shrugged off her robe, and stepped into the shower, activating it with the curt command: “Quick rinse. I’m in a hurry.”
After showering and doing her hair, she slid into her grey bell-bottom slacks and a purple and grey paisley blouse. She tossed her JEK-17 pistol into her purse and slung it over shoulder. The hefty, boxy weapon felt awkward jostling against her ribs, but she’d left her holster at the office. She made a mental note to grab it when she got there. The automated kitchen assistant had transferred her coffee to the colorful geometric-patterned thermos waiting for her by the stove. She grabbed the thermos and trotted out the door and down the covered walkway that led to the resident garage and her bright orange hatchback, parked on the 3rd floor.
Even in the gloomy lighting of the garage, the vehicle stood out, like a burst of sunlight breaking through a gap in the clouds. Compared with the surrounding cars, it was smaller, sleeker, and more stylish. It had a singularly elegant shape, with its sharply downward-sloping backdoor arch flowing into a long, low front, like a big cat about to pounce. Sandra had it detailed every two weeks, and on the stipend Max paid her, could afford all the best for it—ceramic coatings, chrome spoilers, and, as she would say, “all the fixin’s.”
She hopped into the pilot’s seat, flung her purse on the passenger chair, and keyed her code in to activate the onboard assistant.
“Voice Authentication?” the machine prompted.
“Sandra Darcy,” she affirmed crisply.
“Welcome, Captain Darcy. Where to today?”
“Work,” she said with a slight grin. The computer’s default mode of address was simply “operator,” but she had selected “Captain” instead. It seemed altogether more appropriate.
The microbotic cushion flared out beneath the car, and it rose up over the pavement and zipped off. Sandra sipped her coffee as the hatchback wound its way down the garage ramps and out into the bright autumn day, while the pleasantly cool sensation of the Personal Pilot’s Cosmetic Assistant she’d recently installed applied foundation and lipstick to her face.
There wasn’t much traffic; being a Sunday morning most were still inside, and so the AI easily navigated into the invisible lane leading to the city of Gelunbu. Sandra watched lazily as the skyline grew closer.In the cluster of curved, asymmetrical spires at the heart of the city was a cylindrical tower, its tinted green windows glistening in the morning sunlight. The McIntyre Building, Gelunbu’s signature landmark, dominated the cityscape. It’s like a giant middle finger, and the other buildings are knuckles, she thought.
The crackling of Max’s voice in her earpiece distracted her from her architectural musings.
“So, you know all about the circumstances of Mr. Lurge’s demise, right, Sandy?”
“Just that he was found dead at that old factory a couple weeks ago. Is there more to it?”
“Yes—the night watchman said Lurge didn’t enter by the front door, and he didn’t sign in as protocols require.”
“Well, it was his family’s factory, wasn’t it? If anybody could wander in after hours—”
“True, but Mr. Lurge was a very careful and security-conscious man. He wasn’t one to disregard procedures lightly; especially not those of his own design.”
“What else did the guard have to say?”
“Well, you’ll have to follow up on that. But first, you need to hear what Mrs. Lurge has to say.”
“I guess since she’s coming to us, it’s pretty clear she thinks it was foul play, huh?”
“You know it. But there’s something else I want you to do before you meet with Mrs. Lurge.”
“Oh? What’s that?”
There was a pause, as if Max was trying to figure out how to word something. “Well, it’s like this… you’re not going to be working this case alone.”
Sandra nearly spit out her last swig of coffee. “WHAT? Are you saying—”
“Now, calm down. It’s no reflection on your performance,” Max said hurriedly, his low voice warming into his most paternal tone. “You know I have the very highest opinion of your abilities. It’s just… well, I received an applicant whose talents I just couldn’t say no to. Once you meet her, you’ll see what I mean.”
She’s a her, huh? Sandra thought. She suspected she knew why Max had hired her already.
“Ya coulda at least asked my ‘pinion first!”
“I knew you’d be upset.”
“I’m not upset.”
“You always lapse into your accent when you get upset or excited.”
“Don’t ya’ll change the subject! Have I ever failed to crack a case? Ever?”
“Never, Sandy. Like I said; it’s not about you. I think you and Venus will make a great team.”
Sandy disconnected. She was almost at the agency anyway; she had nothing else to say. The car drifted to a stop in front and gently lowered itself onto the pavement. Sandy climbed out, threw her aviator glasses onto the dashboard, and stormed up the stairs.
She marched through the lobby’s sliding glass doors and into the first floor suite that housed the agency. She was about to angrily throw her purse down in a chair when what she saw before her made her stop dead.
There stood a tall, slender woman—easily five feet ten, dressed in a tailored red pantsuit, and wearing a matching wide-brimmed hat. Everything about her radiated strength; her relatively broad shoulders tapered to a narrow waist and long legs. She was standing at the office’s till-then unoccupied second desk, which Sandra had long used for piling files, bills, scarves, shoes, and other knickknacks, and she felt suddenly self-conscious about this stranger observing her messiness.
The stranger had been studying a tablet, but on hearing Sandra enter, looked up with a brilliant smile that lit up her perfectly sculpted oval face and said, “Oh, hello. You must be Sandra. I’m Venus Miles. Delighted.”
This is a short science-fiction story. Like Hays’ short story Dual Void, it packs a lot of complex philosophical and scientific ideas into a few words. It begins with a professor of astronomy who specializes in Big Bang Cosmology lecturing to an Astronomy 101 class, and proceeds to take the reader on a whirlwind ride that leaves one questioning the nature of reality, the meaning of the universe, and other such deep questions. It reminded me a bit of Arthur C. Clarke’s “The Nine Billion Names of God.” IHU is more surreal, but just as existential.
I can’t say a lot more about the book, given how short it is. Not that I’m concerned I’d “spoil” it, exactly; because that implies giving away some information that explains the whole story. This isn’t a story that can be explained; rather, it’s one of those fictional works that makes you ask questions, that teases your brain a little. And I liked that a lot. One of the great things about science-fiction is how it can make you ponder deep questions like these.
IHU is a good, quick read for anyone who enjoys stories that make you think about complex, abstract concepts.
Some facts about me: first, for well over a decade, I’ve wanted to write a story involving an abandoned factory. I didn’t know anything more specific than that, but I’ve long known I wanted to use that setting.
Second: I enjoy watching reruns of cheesy 1970s TV shows. Unfortunately, they quit airing most of my favorites on over-the-air TV, and I am never paying a monthly bill for TV.
So, during the lockdown, which lasted approximately from mid-March through mid-May in Ohio, I amused myself by combining these two elements and writing a story set in an abandoned factory and heavily influenced by 1970s television classics like Charlie’s Angels and Wonder Woman. And, because I just gotta be me, of course it had to have retro-futuristic sci-fi elements and Halloween references, too.
The result is an approximately 16,000 word story that is rather silly, but was extremely fun to write. Instead of publishing it as a book, I decided I’d post one chapter a week over the summer. Each chapter is roughly 1,000-1,500 words long. The first one will be posted here next Saturday.
Oh, and here is what, for lack of a better term, I’ll call the “cover” art: