…of abysmally boring Presidential campaigns, that is.

Whether singing the praises of ancient Sparta or doing his best Joseph McCarthy impression, Congressman Allen West has shown himself more than capable of being to Mitt Romney’s ticket what Sarah Palin was to John McCain’s.

Really, why not have West for VP? No less than Ted Nugent has testified to Mr. West’s readiness for this role. (I assume he did so only after his own Presidential campaign floundered on finding that “Commodus 2012″ made a poor slogan.) But Nugent is surely right that West would be a much-needed “game changer” for Romney’s campaign. Specifically, he would change Romney’s game from The Corporate Machine to Gears of War.

Moreover, it would give the writers at Saturday Night Live something to work with, which, as Maureen Dowd reports, is something they desperately want. The only real question would be: could they get Samuel L. Jackson to portray West? If yes, then the catchphrases very nearly write themselves.

Yes, all in all, I think West definitely has the potential to be 2012’s version of Sarah Palin. Don’t you agree?

Republican Congressman Allen West has some hints for the modern woman (video here):

“What made the Spartan men strong, it was the Spartan women. Because the Spartan women at the age of nine gave up their male sons… when they were finally ready to join the Spartan army, it was not their father who gave them their cloak and shield, it was their mother… and she said: ‘Spartan, here is your shield. Come back bearing this shield, or being borne upon it.” 

There are many references I could make here. I could reference Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

“‘In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were REAL men, women were REAL women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were REAL small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.'” 

I also could reference this song from Gilbert and Sullivan’s Princess Ida. (How can I not after West says “male sons” in this context?) This is but a sample; there were many such wise-guy quips I could think of.

But, after all, this does actually provide us with a little window into the Conservative mindset. It’s related to what I talked about in this post, although I think West is more militaristic than even your average Conservative.

What I need to find out now is how accurate his history is. I (shamefully) don’t know enough about this period to judge.